How do I live with the guilt of knowing I hit the jackpot?

I don’t like the fact that fairness doesn’t exist, by which I mean that why do I get to live a “good life” I surely don’t deserve it more than others, I haven’t earned it? I mean I would like to think I’ve earned some of the good things in my life, but I didn’t earn being born somewhere peaceful and safe to a middle-class family who loves me. I didn’t earn my health, as a matter of fact, most of my health issues come from a direct result of the decisions that I’ve made. I mean even getting the time to reflect on any of this nonsense, which it is by the way, absolute nonsense, is an indication of such things.

I know the time spent on nonsense like this causes less suffering than thinking about how I am going to live another day, where will I sleep tonight, or does anybody love me.

Although I live a good life, nothing changes the fact that life even in its best form leaves us no choice other than to watch the people we love die. No matter how amazing my life is, I am stuck here to watch the once young and beautiful bodies and minds around me decay, all whilst I am decaying at the same rate. So how can anyone live a happy free life knowing that this train only has one stop. The only answer I can think of is we can’t and we spend most of our time keeping ourselves from thinking about it seriously because we can't actually stomach it, or that might just be me.