These are the nights we will remember

These are the nights we will remember
Photo by Elliott Blair / Unsplash

These are the nights we will remember, my dad used to tell me that. No he didn’t, but I thought about it recently and now i'm about to dwell on it more than I should. By simply saying “these are the nights we will remember” does that immediately turn it into a night that we will remember in the future, when we are older and have kids of our own, live in a different house, have a different job, may be a completely different person. It’s an interesting topic really because if I’m being honest as I’m getting older I don’t even remember somethings I did last week, however, that might be the amount of weed I’ve been smoking.

I am what you call a functionally aware stoner. I have a decent job, no money problems, manage to stay fit and somehow still progressing in life, but I get high almost every second day.

I don’t even look like a stoner, apart from my unkempt hair. I look more like a nerd who still lives with his mum and plays computer games. I’ve really just painted a horrible picture there, I sound like an incel. I think this perfectly describes the difficulty I have when describing myself to new people. I’m faced with the impossible task of having to summarise my entire life, my hobbies, my interests, my traumas that have shaped me and who I’m wanting to become. In only a couple of sentences…

I guess introductions don’t include all that information, but it doesn’t make it any less hard. I think my technique on meeting new people is I don’t tell them anything about myself and instead my story naturally gets told in the way I speak and what I do. Something I appreciate about myself is that I do generally get along with almost everyone I meet, I am naturally a people person, no matter how introverted I seem to try to be. I am a conversational mastermind! No, seriously though if people found out that I actually had no idea how to talk to people, but instead I just talk to myself out loud and say things I want to hear or that I think is funny, then I’m not actually sure what they’d think but I didn’t know how else to start this sentence ahahahaha

I’m curious how I’ll play these memories back. Will it look like an old home video recording, with some obscure song I was listening to at the time playing as the soundtrack. Will it be a compilation of photos and videos over the years, or simply will I hear the memories in a shuffled song that show me a brief window of my life back then.

In conclusion, life is really fucking long and I’ve experienced so much already in the short time I’ve been alive. I’d like to remember nights like this one in the future, when I’m feeling down and need a hit of nostalgia when I feel like I’ve wasted my younger years. Maybe I am, maybe.