A Self-Awareness

How the time has passed. I left most of you as a troubled student, wanting to be successful in this soon to be gone world. Many of you may have not even known I was troubled or that was my goal? and even more of you wouldn't even be thinking about me. None of that matters, as I have now returned as whatever this is? An attempt to appreciate the tiny world I live in and embrace the people around me and who I have always been.

I have been keeping up with social media lately and have noticed two things: People (me included) have an immense amount of trauma and belief in stigmas that truly prevent us from letting go and experiencing a potentially life-changing experience; the second is that we don't take care of ourselves enough. Everyone is abusing something (or someone...), we don't eat that well, and we definitely don't get enough sleep that's for sure.

But this is all common knowledge and me writing about it won't change a thing but I'd like to think it helps in some way. I'd also like to believe being self-aware about our flaws is the first step in changing them. That's the whole point of this website, so I can share my thoughts because I constantly have something to say, and it's both ruining and improving my life in different ways. If I don't express them in some way I go crazy! So to save my friends and family the hassle of having to listen to me, this was my solution.

If you're like me, then you would be having a weekly existential crisis about what you could be doing better with the small amount of time we truly have. Then you would end up procrastinating because you don't want to commit your time to anything as it may be the wrong thing. If I succumbed to this feeling, I would honestly never get anything done and would be no better than my dog Lucy, who never knows if she wants to come inside or stay outside so when she finally decides she wants to come inside, she instantly changes her mind and goes back outside... to only then change her mind again.

I believe self-awareness is one of the strongest traits someone can have in 2022. Obviously, there are plenty of traits that are that crucial to have but if I mentioned and went in-depth into every one of them then you would be reading a rather large book instead of this short essay. So to save us all some time, I will just focus on self-awareness in this post.

Self-awareness, it is a strange area to me because we don't actually become self-aware on our own most of the time. It is often learned through sharing our opinions and based on the responses we gather from people we admire/are dear to us (it has to be these people because if anyone else says anything we often disregard it), we then adapt our opinions based on the new information. Don't get me wrong, sometimes in the dark hours of the night you can really learn a lot about yourself, but I believe the name "self-awareness" is somewhat disingenuous to how self-awareness is actually formed because no one is self-anything. By that I mean, saying who you are today is because of you and only you is extremely disrespectful to the people around you and the impact they've had on your life.

This post is only 600 words long and I never want to talk about self-awareness again.